Drunk again
by new moongirl
Summary: Roy x Ed Ed gets drunk, and Roy fails to discourage him from...well...anything.


**This is also the classic Ed gets drunk. I Do NOT own Fullmetal Alchemist.**

Ed sat on a couch in the middle of a Christmas party. He shook his head,and scoffed, the stupid military monkeys were already wasted! Even Riza was...and that was a little creepy actually...she wasn't threatening to shoot anyone...that was way too weird for Ed's taste of his own brand of normal.

Not only was she unreasonably intoxicated, Riza was the one that threatened him into coming in the first place! And seeing as Ed wanted to live to see a new day…he came…_reluctantly_.

Yes, he decided, they were all idiots, drinking alcohol gave you a hangover later. And everyone knew that hangovers were punishments of ultra-DOOM for those that dared to over drink what their metabolism could handle comfortably.

Ed knew, he had done it before. Gotten drunk that is. NOT what he thought Havoc was currently doing on that table. He _defiantly_ had never done _that_. But that wasn't even the point of his ranting! It was that he hadn't even gotten inebriated on purpose either! He'd been forced, FORCED! Albeit, he'd been forced to by a very _drunk_ Aunt Pinako. But the aftermath was something that Ed never wanted to experience again. And a drunk Aunt Pinako was not a _happy_ Aunt Pinako.

Ed shivered at the memory of that horrid night. The beer didn't even taste good either. It was especially nasty. But that was when he was nine. What was Aunt Pinako thinking when she forced beer down his throat at the age of nine? "Oh wait," he mumbled over come with an epiphany, "she wasn't thinking at the time." That explained some things.

Then there was the consequences, that awful hangover wasn't even the worst part, oh no, he had kissed _Winry_. Al had been kind enough to inform him of his error the next day when he was confused as to why she would throw wenches at him whenever he came near. Yep, the terrible consequences of drinking were…well…terrible to be blunt.

Ed sighed he knew who he would kiss this time if he got drunk...he did NOT want that particular catastrophy to happen. Thanks anyway. The consequences, there's that word again, would be way higher than just a hang over and Winry harming him. It would be major badness. So bad in fact, he had used a word that wasn't even in the dictionary and happened to be bad grammar.

Ed's thoughts were abruptly interrupted by Maes, plopping his wasted butt next to him, a full bottle of some sort of alcoholic beverage in hand.

"Why aren't you drinkin' blondie? I would have thought that a young man suches yurself would have jumped at the opportuni-nity to h've a beer."

Ed sighed, why was Maes so observant even when he was drunk? And about the one thing he'd rather not talk about at the moment too. Damn his spy like tendencies. He'd bet that Maes wasn't even really drunk and was just acting like it so that later he could snap embarrassing pictures of everyone, that NO one would remember. He decided that a glare would be appropriate to espress his complicated feelings of rage and vexation. Very complicated those emotions, yes indeed they were… "_Because,_ you Photographic Obsessed Freak, I'm under age..."

Maes, even in his drunken state, noted the sentence trail off.

Ed hoped he hadn't heard it.

He was never that lucky. EVER. "So you have gotten drunk before?"

...why him? "Yes..."he relied curtly.

"annnnnnd...what happened?"

" Pinako forced a bottle of beer down my throat...literally...not the bottle, the beer. I was 9." Why was his life just so chalk full of traumatizing incidents that would scare him for life and make him a social outcast in any normal civilization?

Maes wasn't astounded by the age...being drunk and all... "We all make mistakes Ed." It hadn't even been his fault! Had the man even hear him? Then Maes held up his beer bottle and forced the whole thing down Ed's throat. And Ed wanted to, briefly, believe in God just so he could curse him. Instead he asked himself what exactly was this in equal exchange for

Roy leaned against the wall eyes closed. His head hurt, his thoughts where all fuzzy, and he wanted a nap. The alcohol had finally started to take effect. Not to mention that all of the women in the room had tried to hit on him, and that hadn't had a pleasant effect of the throbbing of his oncoming headache, which was most likely going to hide under his hangover tomorrow when his head was imploding.

He needed to sit down somewhere. After conversing with all of the ladies that were in the military...he needed a break. Women that were determined to alleviate his bachelor status were kind of a hassle. He'd rather be spending his time with someone else…someone ,who by the way, will remain anonymous, even in his own head.

Roy searched the room quickly locating a spot on the couch which was vacant, he walked forward, determined to stake his claim to that little piece of heaven called a couch. It took him a total of five second before he finally noticed a certain blond alchemist sitting next to him, head back, eyes closed and looking more angry and frustrated than usual. Which in all actuality was pretty alarming seeing as Fullmetal was Always angry and frustrated, and being more than usual was considered very bad indeed. Kid probably had high blood pressure.

Of couse such thoughts didn't distract the colonel from noticing the way Ed's golden locks fell gracefully around his face and shoulders, or the way his throat was arched so enticingly…nor the way his adam's apple bobbed with a hard earned swallow. He most certainly was NOT considering putting his mouth on such a piece of succulent flesh. That would be preposterous seeing as this was Edward Elric. It was the alcohol, yes that must be it. Alcohol was to blame. It always was.

Hearing a stream of unintelligible, half whispered words exit luscious pink lips, which he was _not_ staring by the way, Roy absently enjoying the feeling of the soft couch, asked his poor wasted comrade the most generic question there was: "What?".

Hearing no response but the abrupt silencing of muttering, Roy looked over in time to see that Ed was in the process of straddling him. Hmmm, he actually didn't mind that at all, or that, he noted as the boy put his hands on his chest pushing him to slide sideways down the couch into an almost horizontal position. Actually the way things were going weren't upsetting the Colonel at all. But he had never thought of doing the same thing to Fullmetal, nor had he entertained any fantasy that involved a fiery blond and leather. Oh who was he kidding…everything stopped as Ed pressed his incredibly soft lips against his. That was even better than the forcefulness.

Roy was either too shocked to react, or just lacking in inhibitions as he just sat there, Edward kissing him, him kissing back, absolutely still, on hand hanging off the edge of the couch and the other against the back of it. Enjoying the moment as it played out.

The whole room went quiet as people nudged those around them to look at the spectacle.

Skirt chaser Roy Mustang, playboy of central, was doing nothing to stop a young boy from having his way with him. If anything, he was encouraging the young boy by failing to do anything. They turned as Maes let out a whoop of joy. "I told you it would happen if I got Ed drunk enough!" He said in triumph. "Hand over the money guys, I won this bet!"

Riza, Fury, Havoc, Falman. and Breda grudgingly handed over $50 each.

And Maes then proceeded to start snapping pictures to his heart's content. Neither of the men on the couch noticed, as they were currently concentrated on more important matters.

It was early morning whenEd opened his eyes and just as quickly shut them again. His head was pounding and the sunshine that was pouring in the window just made it worse. Where was he anyway? Struggling to remember what had happened ...last night?...he pressed palms to his eye sockets, attempting in vain to make the pain go away. His mouth was dry, he felt like, well frankly, crap, and he was positive that his hair was going to be a total rats nest, and the torture of getting out the tangles was not what he currently needed.

Ed carefully searched though his memories for anything and promptly groaned. Whatever had happened last night hadn't been good...he knew it; his head pounded and this had happened only once before: The night he kissed Winry. And the night he had kissed Winry he had gotten drunk. Therefore, he had somehow gotten drunk. Whoever was behind this was going to die, that was for certain. Actually death might be too lenient of an option in the worst had happened. If he hadn't sworn off human transmutation, he might have considered it a viable option but quickly dismissed the transmutation circles that flashed before the backs of his eyelids.

Cautiously opening his eyes to allow in piercing sunlight, he wasn't surprised that he wasn't in his dorm room. But then if he wasn't there, where was he?

The throbbing was receding to a tolerable level now, so Ed decided that he'd head toward the bathroom, just in case his stomach decided to rebel against him.

Ed sat up and looked at the two doors inside the room contemplating briefly before opening one and got lucky, as it was the bathroom...and he could already feel the bile rising in his throat. Lurching forward just in time to make it into the toilet, he cursed his karma and undoubtedly BAD luck.

Gagging at the vile taste of his stomach contents, Ed approached the mirror wearily; positive that he wouldn't like what was reflected. He wondered if whoever had adopted him for the night would allow him to borrow a toothbrush and some toothpaste; sure, everything tasted grand when it went down, but went it came up...that was a different story.

Ed opened the cabinets and found the mouth wash. "That works too," he thought blandly.

Making quick work of his bad breath and refurbishing the loathsome taste that had taken residence in his oral cavity, Edwards stepped toward the other door, braving the outside of his sanctuary.

Ed stood in the hall. The house itself was very nice. Plushy carpet, creamy painted walls, and curtains on all of the windows, all closed thankfully. Very nice, he finalized.

Headed down the stairs, grabbing the banister for support, he found that the downstairs was just as pleasant as upstairs. Leather furnishings, a glass coffee table, and a book case, Edward approved. It was welcoming in a your-home kind of way.

Ed searched his surroundings, and as he swayed into the banister, and then into the wall, he spotted a tuft of raven black hair on the couch facing away from him.

'Please no.' was his only coherent thought as he crept, or more like swayed, over to the couch and almost screamed. The same to word kept going through his head: NO NO NO NO NO NO!'

Sadly, his chants were not to be contradicted or corrected. On the couch lay Roy Mustang, in all of his glory. All his stubble-y glory to boot. It actually wasn't all that bad to look at, gave a less debonair, more dangerous and manly vibe. Which Edward didn't mind. At _all_. Made him want to…nevermind.

Standing there, somewhat lost as to what he should do now that he actually _knew_ who's house he was invading, Edward scrubbed at his throbbing head in exasperation. His hangover really wasn't helping his predicament at all, seeing that any complicated thought process ended half way. But thankfully, Ed's body, or more accurately his libido, moved on its own accord: kneeling down near the couch and petting Roy's incredibly soft hair. Oh, that was…well that was kinda nice actually. He'd kinda expected it to be more coarse or wiry, or something to that effect. He didn't really want to stop just yet.

Roy was dimly aware that he was waking-up, but he didn't want to. He knew what awaited him the moment his senses returned to him, and he was feeling oddly content at this particular instant, and most certainly didn't want to ruin it.

Consciousness growing, Roy fought it, attempting to piece the fog back around his brain. The fingers were tracing the outline of his face, and carding though his hair were nice, and any sign of his stirring would chase them away, he just knew it. Then the touch was gone, and he almost gave out a whine at the loss of comfort. But turned it into a grunt of dissatisfaction, accented by the frown forming on his lips. Was he imagining things again? Hopefully not. That wouldn't be good; couldn't have a mentally unstable Furhur after all.

The fingers were back, only this time only in his hair. Not that he minded, it still felt good either way. He settled back down satisfied, leaning into the caresses ever so slightly.

They stopped immediately. Had he been to forward? "No, don't stop, it felt good." he mumbled, still half asleep, and ignoring the anomalousness of the situation.. He hadn't opened his eyes yet and wasn't planning to for a while, but that suddenly seemed inconsequential as the caresses resumed.

Roy's mind was clearing of the haze faster with every second, and soon he figured that he'd have to face whoever was currently in his house providing hangover-curing therapy. Not that it was cured exactly, but it certainly wasn't turning out to be as bad as it could have been. Roy opened his eyes and looked into golden ones. The golden eyes that he adored.

"You kissed me last night." was the first thing that came to Roy's lip's, and he winced slightly at his blunt words, which had caused to blond to stop petting him, and freezed with a horrified look on his face. Which was kind of disheartening, because that meant that Ed didn't _remember_ it.

Ed froze, this was just like with Winry, only this time instead of wrenches, he was going to get fried. "I...did?" Ed asked in a strained voice hoping that the onyx eyes were lying in their seriousness..

"You did." was the only answer he received. There was no more need to sugar coat it Roy had briefly considered doing so, but thought it better to just get it out in the open. Ed looked like a statue, totally immobile

"How, no-Why did you get drunk anyway?"

Ed's memory decided to kick in and in his rage turned back to normal. "Maes! He forced a beer down my throat! That bastard!" eyes glimmered dangerously, "Death awaits him." Ed smiled evilly. But remembering the man in front of him, scowled, glaring downward.

'How cute,' thought Roy absentmindedly as he saw the expression. 'Wait, cute? Is that seriously considered _cute_?'

Still scowling, the elder Elric was berating himself, 'How could I?'

"Ed?" Roy asked the troubled boy.

"Yeah?" an automatic response.

"Would you do it again?"

"…what?"

"Would you kiss me?"

The fish impersonation was kinda endearing actually, not as ridiculous as anticipated... "K-kiss you?"

Roy couldn't help it that he found Ed's hesitancy undeniably charming, he wanted to feel Ed's lips on his again. "Yes Ed kiss me. NOW. "

Ed, somewhat incredulous at the demanding tone, leaned down anyway, almost touching Roy's lips. His breath sending waves of warmth over the older man's face, and shivers down his spine.

The reluctance wasn't because he was, well reluctant to kiss his superior officer-he'd never honored that station- he _wanted_ to kiss Roy, it was just...he was a little shocked that Roy actually wanted him to kiss him. After last night, he'd been expecting disgust or dismissal, not he was about to go complaining about current events, that would just be stupid. And if there was one thing Ed was NOT, it was stupid.

Roy thought he would have a heart attack when he saw the wicked gleam in Edwards eyes. Apparently Ed's initial shock had worn off, and the little spitfire had reclaimed his aptitude for mischief. Watching as Ed's pink lips where lowered even more toward his own, he resisted the urge to lean upward and take charge like he was used to. _Huh, it doesn't taste so much like alcohol anymore. Mint…he wasn't that good last night._

Ed pushed his tongue into Roy's mouth, exploring. He didn't remember much after Maes, this felt like the first time he was kissing his superior officer, even if it wasn't. Leaving advanced thought for another day, Ed felt. Their tongues twining as "the lazy bastard" decided to contribute to the activity rather than remain passive. _What the hell did he just do?..ah!... ok whatever, just do it again….mmmmh…_

Climbing almost on top of Roy for better leverage and angle had to be one of his more ingenious ideas as it got the older to touch him, one hand snaking to the middle of Ed's back and the other sliding up to the back of his neck. A position that allowed him to be pulled downward and resulted in the deepening of the kiss. Which, was, by the way, very, _very _nice indeed. _We should probably do this more often…_was Ed's last coherent thought, as hands, lips, and tongue, started moving things forward.

**000000**

**Yay for refurbishment of old, really badly written cheesy stories. I read this and thought "wow, how did ANYONE make it thought to the end?" yeah, it was pretty bad indeed. Though I'm glad that I've improved, and gotten the characters more IC then OC now. Advancement is good indeed. **

**-newmoongirl**


End file.
